Galanty Miller


News Releases


December 2016

My novel, Believe What You Breathe, is now available in paperback or digital format. Published by Genz Publishing House, it's the story of life and death and lions. And not to give anything away, but a certain young wizard with glasses and a lightning bolt scar on his forehead might- just might- make an appearance, once again battling the evil Lord Valdemort and his sexy vampire family, the Cullens. And if you purchase enough copies, I'll have enough money to start thinking about my next novel. 


July 2016

I'm rejoining the Onion News Network. Isn't that exciting? I look forward to bragging about how funny I am again.


May 2016

The lovely, ridiculously sweet women of My Little Magic Shop interviewed me for their adorable website. A panel of men- myself, along with Jared Fogel, O.J. Simpson, Josh Duggar, Lamar Odom, Rick Santorum, Anthony Weiner, and David Duke- were interviewed as part of the website's Today's Modern Man: What Is He Thinking? series. Anyway, I haven't actually read the interview. It's like listening to your voice on tape. It's too painful. So hopefully I didn't say anything too inappropriate.


August 2014

I'm big in Canada. Listen to my interview on CKNW Radio Vancouver on Monday, August 25, at 12:40 ET. Save the date. We'll be talking about the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge... though I'm sure I'll have a couple extra minutes to slip in some thoughts about my attic being haunted by the ghost of Thomas Jefferson.  


August 2013

I'm now part of the lamestream media. I am a blogger for the Huffington Post. I look forward to sharing my worthless opinions with the world.

Check out my posts. And feel free to write vicious personal attacks in the "comments" section. It's okay. They're anonymous.


May 2011

The Webby Awards Logo

The Onion News Network segment, "Police Slog Through 40,000 Insipid Party Pics To Find Cause of Dorm Fire", based on my original idea, has been nominated for a Webby award. (A Webby award is the premiere honor given to the best content and design on the Internet... but you already knew that.) 

You can find our little movie all over the Internet. Or just go to

update: They announced the 2011 winners. We lost. 


April 2011

You don't understand Twitter? Neither do I! You think Twitter represents the end of civilized society as we know it? So do I!

Nevertheless, you can now follow me on Twitter. My goal? Ten billion followers.


February 2011

Alabama Newspapers (AL)

Here is a newspaper article about me. I'm on page 3. 'Chaos in Libya' is on page 4. I'm bigger than Libya!
my mother's response upon seeing the article: "You need a haircut."


September 2010

The election season is heating up.  I did some work for the Georgia gubernatorial* campaign.  My commercials are already running in the great state of Georgia.  I love Georgia! I like peaches and bulldogs and that Ray Charles song.  

And now you know what the Georgia state flag looks like. 

*My 46th best talent? I can type “gubernatorial” without the use of spell check.


June 2010 

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Big news! I have a cool new job. I'm going to China as part of a panda-hunting expedition, in hopes of controlling/reducing the world's panda population. Also, I'm going to be a writer on a brand new show for the Comedy Central network. Details to come.  


April 2010

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Not only is TV a positive influence on teenagers, a healthy substitute to reading, and the birthplace of the Olsen Twins... now there is yet another wonderful thing to love about the small screen. The Onion is coming to television!

Check out the link.


My job will consist of fetching doughnuts for the producers, late night building security (11:00pm- 6:00am shift), and I guess I'll also be a contributing writer.


October 2009



Following in the footsteps of my hero, Mark Twain, I'm one of the new Top Cops In Us Weekly Magazine's popular "Fashion Police" section. My witty (and important) fashion comments will appear in two or three issues a month.    



March 2009






I gave a presentation at Barnes & Noble. Afterwards, I had a chance to meet Noble's mistress. I found her to be attractive, intelligent, and charming.